Friday, September 30, 2011

It is not enough

I believe something wrong with her. Something. I just want the old Patchy. I want to prove something. You just need to wait and see. Probably i will do this on my day off. I will record the video. My friends and followers might know what i'm going to do. Why am i going to do this? Because i love you. 

Wednesday, September 28, 2011

7 Eleven rejected me

28 September 2011: I called them (7 Eleven) in the evening, and yes they rejected me. I was pissed and went out to Rm2 shop and applied for a job there. I will start working tomorrow in the morning. By the way, it is 12 hours working hour. I should start working since i have wasted lots of my time waiting for the 7 Eleven. So, tomorrow is my working hour.

Monday, September 26, 2011

7 Eleven should call me this week

The 7 Eleven should call me this week, if they do not call me this week, meaning i am not good enough for them. Okay, i will wait. If i do not get the job, i will work at Rm2 Shop near to old town restaurant. I will wait for the call. I need to get a good job with a good salary.

Sunday, September 25, 2011

Patchy, Thanks

I want to say thanks to you because the old Patchy is back. I love you. I don't want to lose you. Even, if i sound boring to you, i hope you don't mind, sometimes i'm out of jokes. 

Patchy, you never bore me dear. 
Thank you for everything princess. This feelings inside me will last forever. I love you. 

P/s: Lucky looks healthy and fatter. Hahaha. XD

Saturday, September 24, 2011

She is back

24 September 2011: Yesterday, she told she still love me. This is like a cure to my broken heart. My good mood is back. It felt so painful when this heart broke into pieces. 

Sorry about my voice. It sucks because i'm not a singer, and i had a sore throat that night. The song is not really good, but i just felt like i need to express my feelings with a music. I wrote the lyrics and made the song when she broke my heart. It took me one day to finish editing the whole song and video.

Softwares i use:
FL Studio
Cool Edit Pro
Corel Video Studio 12

The original song is from Green day - wake me up when september ends.

Thursday, September 22, 2011

Broken heart

22 September 2011: I felt worse. I cannot sleep last night and only sleep 2 hours in the morning at 9am to 11am. I took sleeping pills, it didn't really help me to sleep. I cannot stop thinking about this girl. I even dreamed about her, i dreamed she touched my shoulder and cheered me up.

If she love other guy, i wouldn't mind. I will be there for her when time comes. Just so you know i cannot let her heart go. I can be patient while she is having fun with other guy. I just have to train myself from now. 

When time comes, i will go there and stalk her in person. She is my obsession, i will never stop. Maybe it is my fate to be her stalker. I would probably be single for the rest of my life. You are the sweetest girl from my own perspective.

P/s: It is easy to break men's heart, but just so you know, real men never give up.

Words are not enough

I have known this. All my words are just words they are not actions. How the hell am i going to do the actions? Oh yes i have sent you the present and letters for you. But they are just things, they are not the real me. How can i be there like now? Oh Patchy, if i can fly now, i will go there right now, but i cannot fly. I need plane or train to get there, and you know i need money for that. 

Wait for me sweetheart. If you cannot wait, i am still going there just to see you princess. You are special to me, i cannot stop loving you. If you need actions, i will prove it when i get there.

My dear Patchy, when i wrote this blog, you said you want to cry. Please do not cry, i know i am not perfect like your ex, and i can understand that why. 

I remember all the promises i made, i will fullfill them i swear to God. Yes these are just words, but when i said i swear to God it means i promise to God and if i fail to fullfill it, i will be punish in the afterlife.

Loving you is like climbing a mountain with big rocks, it takes a while until i can reach you. It is hard, it is tough, but i'm willing to do this. I need money to get a plane or train tickets, and need extra money to live there for a week. 

Wednesday, September 21, 2011

I was at the park and thinking of you

21 September 2011, i was at the park having a picnic, well sort of. I bought donuts and i ate at the park. It was great and relaxing. I was there from 4pm to 5pm i think. It's not unusual to see me hang out alone. I used to be alone almost all the time when i studied in a University long ago. I saw couple of lovers at the park, hmm.. i have never felt that. I mean to be with someone that is so special to you. How does it feel?

I brought home this donut. Cannot finish eat this at the park. Too full.
Since June, i have already felt the love and something miracle happened because my heart felt warm and it felt like we are so close together althought we are miles apart. I have never felt this feelings i swear. I just think i need to protect this feelings. But honestly, i have already felt this feelings since i stalked her in 2009 but the feelings were like tiny and small and now it is huge and bigger than anything that you can imagine. I wish i can walk with her and touch her hand when i get there. 

Hmm, when she doubted me last night, i was kinda upset. But thanks to her for expressing her doubt because i really need that to improve my own self. Now i know, doubting someone else is not good.

Waiting and no hope - 7 Eleven

It has been two days now, they didn't call me. They called me last sunday and tell me to come for the interview on monday. I did come and they said they will call me two days after that. So, here i am, two days already but still no job for me. Does this mean i am rejected? 

My mood is bad right now, really bad. I'm sick of this. 

I will go out again tomorrow, look for another job i guess, or probably go to the 7 Eleven and burn the shop.

Tuesday, September 20, 2011

No Skateboard, not now

20 September 2011: I bought a skateboard yesterday and i did practice it at home and at the park. I was having fun until i broke the skateboard trunk and it cannot be fix it. Oh nevermind, cheap skateboard by the way. I bought it Rm37 after discount. I should have known it is made in China lol. I just think of buying a new one, i mean the original and expensive skateboard and the price would be around Rm200-300. But then, i was thinking that it is not in the life direction list. Why should i waste my money on a skateboard? This is not important for me.

I have a "Life direction list", i called it life direction list because it shows my direction and this list is really important for me. In the list, i wrote down the things i need to have, one of them is a blackberry cellphone.

Yes, i mean "things". I don't want to list all of the things here! It should be keep in secret hehe. Okay, but i can tell you the most important thing in the list is the passport. Without it, i cannot go there.

P/s: Oh, I did go to the 7 Eleven for the interview that day and I have to wait for two days and wait for their call.
I hope i get the job.

Saturday, September 17, 2011

Dear Princess

17 September 2011: I had learned so many things about your feelings. Once i make a mistake, i will never forget it. I will learn from that, and improve myself to be more understanding toward your feelings. I am sorry i said something wrong to you. Maybe sorry is not enough. :(
You don't need to feel down or depressed, because when it happens, it makes me worried and today, i supposed to go out to the town around 3pm, but i didn't because i was to worried and i felt down. Patchy, you are the only girl that can teach me what is love, but you can also make me feel down sometimes. That is why i don't want you to be depressed dear, because i will feel bad too. This is true.

Oh, remember that night, when you got home late because you said it was raining and flood. You and your friends were searching to find a restaurant to eat there, and your phone was dead. I did call you like more than 10 times but did not reach you, and i sent you like 7-8 sms. But it was wrong number, now i know i saved a wrong digit in my other simcard. I thought you did read all the sms, but no, i failed. Stupid sim card.
I was so worried that night, and my mom asked me why i look upset. I lost my appetite until you came back and said you're home.

Princess, you just need some time to rest. 

P/s:  Patchy, put your hand on my chest and feel the heart beats.

Which job?

I haven't decided yet. Whether to work in a papermill factory or work in the clothes shop. It's all depend on the salary. On the other hand, i'm still waiting for the 7 Eleven to call me. It has been like a week now and they didn't call me. 

Oh, the good news is i can start working in a clothes shop this monday around 10am to 10pm. Yeah i know 12 hours and the salary is cheap. Stupid, but i have no other choice. I will take the OT work to earn extra income.

I probably would be super busy after this. 

Saya akan cuba

Masalah tahap keyakinan diri sering dibelenggu saya sejak zaman sekolah lagi. Saya seorang yang rendah diri, dan saya lebih mendahulukan orang lain daripada diri saya sendiri. Saya perlu berubah, bukan sahaja dari segi penampilan tetapi secara keseluruhan. Saya cuba untuk menjadi yang terbaik untuk dia. 

Saya akui sejak kebelakangan ini saya banyak berubah, dan saya suka dengan apa yang saya ada sekarang termasuklah arah hidup saya. Walaupun saya dan dia jauh, tapi apabila dua insan ini bercinta, tiada yang mustahil. Saya berjanji selagi saya bersama dia, saya tidak akan berlaku curang kerana cinta ini sangat suci dan istimewa buat saya.

Cinta kita sangat berbeza dengan orang lain disekeliling. Cinta kita ini sangat istimewa.

Wednesday, September 14, 2011

From bakery shop to 7 Eleven

Hmm... i have been working in a bakery shop only for one day. So much things to tell, but i better keep my mouth closed. Anyway, i found a job at 7 Eleven. The basic salary is Rm650. I hope the job is suit for me.

Life is hard when you don't get a job as a librarian! 

Money is hard to find, and Nibong Tebal seems like NOT a good place to find a job. Oh, small town, and i'm not a city kind of guy. 

Oh if only i have big car, big house, expensive clothes and shoes haha. But those are not important, i would rather put my money on someone i love, and the poor people and orphans kids :D 

Sunday, September 11, 2011

She and the Lucky bear

Cannot describe anything but only one word that is Beautiful.

You made me think about you everyday and everynight. You made me sold my Xbox haha. It's okay :D
I haven't play that for a while, so it's okay to sell it. I will buy a new xbox console probably a new version with wifi built in later. The money was saved into my account, i might need to use it someday and I will buy a blackberry soon. 

Oh... on monday,  i will start working in a bakery shop. Hmm.. i have never working in a bakery shop or making a bread lol. But this will be my new experience. I hope i will be just fine, and the salary is pretty cheap and i hope they would raise my salary soon, hopefully.

I will do the best here for you hehehe... :D

Friday, September 9, 2011

It's not your fault, Sweetheart

9 September 2011: I have patient. I kept quiet because i want to cool myself down. Easy for me to cool down, and pretend nothing had happened. Not easy for someone else to behave like this. I still can control myself. 

My friend keep saying i'm stupid, but no. I know what i'm doing. But now, you are about to disappear for a while. I am sorry if i did wrong to you. You shouldn't felt guilty, because it is not your fault.

Sometimes i just want to protect you from someone that may want to destroy your life. 
I am protective to the one i loved. That is my nature.

I'm sorry.

Thursday, September 8, 2011

Deep in my heart

You cannot escape from me My Dearest Sweetheart. 

I cannot be the coolest or good looking guy, but i can promise you, i can be the most caring person you have ever met. 

What i have said on twitter is right. 

You are locked inside my heart and nobody else is there because my heart only can fit one person. 

The pure love

Saturday, September 3, 2011

I love this photo

I really love this photo. I love when she hugged that fat bear and i love her forehead. :D
I can't wait to meet her. But there is one thing i always worried. i'm worried about my looks. This always haunted me but i hope looks doesn't matter here. We will meet next year in 2012, and i just hope the world is not going to end soon.

P/s: Lucky said to me, he wants to kiss your forehead XD